198

by Violet

I wasn’t lying when I said I wanted everything. For those who feel the graze of death too young, we always want more. We become too aware of the finite amount of time we have been designated, and desperately want to experience all that is possible before it’s over. I want the good, the bad, the ugly, and I ignore the consequences with a fierce determination. I refuse to test the waters, and dive right in without a care for the repercussions. I’ve always chosen all or nothing, never in between; I detest purgatory. I want so much that nothing ever feels like enough, I am insatiable in every meaning of the word. I am a sinner without remorse, I am a liar unfamiliar with guilt, I am a heart breaker and your best lover, I am the fallen.

I believe when the universe was created, when we were merely stardust, our atoms found each other once and we continue to drift back again and again, attracted to the same energy of our beginnings, and that is what makes us feel complete. But I am not searching for my better half, I am not seeking completeness, I am patiently waiting to be broken. I want to unravel in your arms, I want you to be strong enough to break me, study the shattered pieces, be the sole witness to my destruction. I need you to find beauty in my pain.

When I looked into your eyes and found traces of rage and insanity, I felt my heart beat faster and my soul begin to ache. This was it, checkmate, this is game, fatal attraction. I am drawn to a quality I can’t quantify, an aura I can’t explain, a force to be reckoned with. I love playing with fire, I cannot live without risk. But if you want to bring out the worst in me, you must prepare for carnage. If you wish to tame me, you must know how to handle me broken. If you want to be let in, I promise to make your world spin. If you plan to take control, prepare to have your reality stolen. This is not a task for the weak-minded, I demand the spirit of a champion.

But if you find yourself lost in the moment, if you feel your heart flutter in an unsettling manner, remember I am not safe to keep. If you find yourself falling for illusions, searching for answers, remember I am full of beautiful lies and nightmares that scar. If you find yourself staring into my soul and you are not afraid, you should remember that love is the most dangerous game in our universe. There may be two villains in our story, but only one will have a broken heart.

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