169

by Violet

I’ll wait for you, but I won’t call you, I don’t wish to burden you, I don’t need any more empty promises. You’ll move on just like all the others, you won’t look back, you won’t see my hand prints in the sand and as I’m crawling back with blood on my hands, you’ll tell her you’ve forgotten my name.

I’ll be in the mirror when you’re kissing her neck and her lipstick stains will show up as bruises on my skin. I’ll find your late night whispers when you’re not really missing me, you’ll be too busy memorizing her curves. I’ll hide these tears of goodbyes because there’s no need for you to know just how much it hurts. We were never meant for do or die; we are too strong for apologies.

We’ve been going backwards darling, you’ve known it all along. You said yes too quickly and you’ve been wanting to move on. You’ve been dreaming of freedom and I was only weighing you down. You wanted to kiss my scars away, but you don’t love them the way that I do. They are not surface marks, they are deeper than flesh and bone, they are the skeletons of my wounded soul, and I don’t know where I’d be without them. I wouldn’t be anything without them. I’d be so lost without my sadness and the joy that you promised me would only lead to a new broken home.

Advertisements